The Agony and the Agony: Raising Your Teenager without Losing Your Mind
Betty Londergan
Language: English
Pages: 255
ISBN: 1600940749
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
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of your core values that she can digest. Not an undifferentiated mountain of advice you’ve thrown up, apparently to block any chance of her happiness. Edit your angst. YOU REALLY CAN’T MAKE THEM DO ANYTHING I hate this reality bite and didn’t want to include it, but it’s my mission to tell the unvarnished truth. This is the elephant in the room that we (our teens and us) pretend we don’t see because the entire hierarchy of authority depends on everyone buying into the fiction that parents
with someone who can be more effective. Don’t get offended; it has nothing to do with your knowledge, experience, or interest in the college admissions process. You’re not fit for the job because you’re the parent. This means that your teenager cannot hear a single word you say, due to the “What do you know?” factor (which Lulu and my stepkids have used to wrenching effect in discussions about college with my husband, the president of a university). Additionally, everything you say is suspect
inevitable. You can either take this opportunity to live in baggy sweat pants and give up trying to look good, or whip yourself back into shape and work on looking your best every time you step out the door. Just please don’t do that tarted-up mom thing, wearing wrinkly-cleavage-revealing shirts and low-rider jeans with your stomach hanging out. Nobody wants to see a 50-year-old stomach, as Ellen Barkin famously said, not even a nice flat one. Instead of pathetically striving to outshine your
attend your kids’ games, show up at their concerts, volunteer at school, and drive them thousands of miles around the metropolitan area. Your current idea of a super-hot night probably involves a heating pad and an electric blanket. Clearly, you need to get out more. But it’s going to take some time to work your way back into a real life. First, you need to shed the habits of a day-to-day parent. What a bizarre transition! After eighteen years of centering your entire world on your children, you
with baby steps, like taking a morning yoga class or making a daily Starbucks pilgrimage. Go to art gallery openings after work, or meet friends for cocktails. Go out for brunch on the weekends. Read the whole paper; don’t stop at the headlines. Catch the late show of a film (just don’t pick anything with subtitles that you’ll be tempted to snooze through). Park the car on Friday night and don’t move it again until Sunday. Sleep in. Go out. Live it up. You’ll be okay. Seriously, it’s great to