Painfully Gross Jokes, Volume 8
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Synopsis from Amazon: A collection of way out humor, celebrity jabs, and outrageous putdowns.
girl friend has VD? She stops into the drugstore for prescription underwear. How can you tell if you're in a tough neighborhood? The gun shops have back-to-school sales. How can you tell your kid's going to a tough school? They frisk your kid for weapons- if he doesn't have one, they give him one. "" 144 PAINFUUY GROSS JOKES How can you tell your kid's in a tough school? In art class, they strip the teacher. How can you tell your kid's in a tough school? There's a bail bondsman working in
reached the top of Mount Everest? They all run out of scaffolding. Did you hear about the Polack who broke his neck raking leaves? He fell out of the tree. 21 JULI US ALVIN How can you tell you're riding in a Polish helicop. ter? The pilot's chair is an ejection seat. What' an Italian's idea of a good practical j oke? Buying a return ticket on an airline, then not coming back . Did you hear about the Irish guy who was given three weeks to live? He took the first two weeks in July and the
said, "I know this place dow'n by the river where you get every third drink free ." "That's nothing," the Irishman said. "My brother-in-law told me about this place that just opened that's giving every other drink free." The Polack said, "I know a place in my neighborhood where every drink is free, and at the end of the night, you get laid in the parking lot." "Wow," said his friends. "How did you find out about that place?" "From my wife," the Polack replied . 26 PA INFULLY GROSS JOKES The
told the proprietor that she was in love with an American G.I. "One thing," she said, "he's a little weird about." She lifted up her arm and pointed to the growth underneath. "He wants me to get ridda this. You got something?" The proprietor nodded. A few minutes later she walked out of the store with hedge clippers. Why is a JAP like a prizefighter? She won't go into action until she sees a ring. What's hairy, wrinkled, and hangs out underwear? An Italian mother-in-law. 36 PAINFUUY GROSS
ALVlN Joshua Feldstein, a young investment banker, came into the Wall Street bar late one night, ordered a double Scotch on the rocks, then downed it in a gulp. A friend came over, noticed Joshua was pale, then asked, "Josh, what's wrong? Bad day in the markets?" "No," Feldstein replied. "It's what happened after work. I was walking down a nearly empty street when this young girl came up to me and asked for a handout. It was freezing, but she had on a light sweater, a sleeveless blouse, and a