Dawn of the Dumb
Charlie Brooker
Language: English
Pages: 296
ISBN: 0571238416
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Polite, pensive, mature, reserved ...Charlie Brooker is none of these things and less. Rude, unhinged, outrageous, and above all funny, "Dawn of the Dumb" is essential reading for anyone with a brain and a spinal cord. And hands for turning the pages.
Picking up where his hilarious "Screen Burn" left off, "Dawn of the Dumb" collects the best of Charlie Brooker's recent TV writing, together with uproarious spleen-venting diatribes on a range of non-televisual subjects - tackling everything from David Cameron to human hair.
safety gone mad! Recycling bins? Typical! And if that bloody Ferris wheel doesn’t sum up Blair’s Britain, I don’t know what does. You couldn’t make it up!’ Weirdly, they’ve chosen not to include any of Littlejohn’s other bugbears on the cover: there are no gays or asylum seekers here. Unless, perhaps, they’re crushed beneath Littlejohn’s feet. It’s hard to tell from the preview image on Amazon. I mean, I’d go into a bookshop and examine it in closer detail, but then I’d get Littlejohn on my
arrest upon any entry to our country.’ ‘We don’t give a flying fuck what you stupid Brits think. There was a reason we kicked your ass in the Revolution…you’re all just a bunch of fucking sissy asses. I can’t wait to watch as you and the rest of the European faggots turn into Third World countries that you all aspire to.’ ‘May those in your life survive under the curse you wish for others. Let them live long miserable lives. I look forward to reading your obituary on the back page of a paper
thins out the populace and spreads the comfort around for everyone. Besides, anyone voluntarily pressing their button is a fool, and the world’s got too many of them. Stroke it, by all means. Flirt with danger. Run your finger round the rim and contemplate choice. But don’t press it. Who cares how big that pile of dishes gets? You’re alive, stupid. And you’re lucky to be here. Now get on with it. Pray for Stumpy Ralf [18 November 2005] Who’s the world’s biggest celebrity? Let’s say it’s
refreshingly sane. Well, OK, not entirely—but a damn sight saner than the Daily Mirror’s hate-campaign coverage of his antics, that’s for sure. Just for the record, his impersonation of Hitler was absolutely bloody hilarious. My current favourite is Dead or Alive singer Pete Burns, who appears to have stepped straight from an episode of When Surgeons Go Mental. His face is astoundingly strange—neither ugly nor beautiful, yet endlessly riveting. If humans ever mate with cartoon characters, their
turn it into a delicious profiterole, or squirt extra synapses and knowledge banks and microchips into our brains, so we’d be as clever as they were; clever enough to carry the entire contents of Google around in our heads. Or they could get really ambitious: take the entire population of the planet and knit us together into one single gigantic sentient being, with a billion arms and legs, an eye in the centre of its forehead and a massive scrotum. Instead of starting wars, we’d simply sit