Why You're Not Married . . . Yet: The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve
Tracy McMillan
Language: English
Pages: 240
ISBN: 0345533275
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
This paperback edition includes an exclusive conversation between Bill and Giuliana Rancic, hosts of NBC’s Ready for Love, and Tracy McMillan, one of its expert matchmakers. This new relationship show features three of America’s most eligible guys searching for their soul mates.
If you’re looking to get married and you’re not, there’s most likely a very good reason: you. Hey, you’re certainly not a bad person! You just haven’t yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want. That’s where this book comes in. Based on her wildly popular Huffington Post article, Tracy McMillan’s Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet dishes out no-holds-barred practical wisdom for women hoping to head down the aisle. And this new edition features even more candid advice and sisterly insight. McMillan points out the behaviors that might be in your blind spot and shows you how to adjust them to get the relationship you deserve. Do any of these chapter headings sound familiar?
• You’re a Bitch: How defensiveness can hide behind a tough exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness.
• You’re a Liar: How to stop lying to men—and get honest with yourself—about the kind of relationship you really want.
• You’re Selfish: The big secret about marriage: It’s about giving something, not getting it.
A funny, insightful guide, Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet will change your life and the way you think about relationships, and it may very well lead you down the aisle.
“Very wise . . . Give this book to every single girlfriend [you] have.”—Marie Claire
“Equal parts BFF, boot-camp instructor, and relationship guru, Tracy McMillan will change the way you think about yourself and your relationships. This book is for every woman out there who wants to have a great marriage.”—Ricki Lake
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't
The Hidden Lover: What Women Need to Know That Men Can't Tell Them
Cognitive Therapy: Basics and Beyond
The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work
interested in short-term companionship (like a one-night stand) showed more interest in a woman’s body, while men looking for a long-term relationship were more interested in a woman’s face. The researchers asked 375 college students to look at a picture of a potential mate. At the beginning of the experiment both face and body were hidden. Researchers then gave them the option of looking at the face or the body, but not both. The results were fascinating. Only one-quarter of the men who were
to commitment. At this point in my life—in fact, at any point in my life past the age of, oh, about twenty-three—I would rather not subject myself to a foxy man, in much the same way I no longer eat a whole big bag of M&M’s. It’s going to be amazing while I’m doing it, but I have absolutely no doubt that at some point afterward I’m going to feel bad enough to wonder whether it was actually worth it. And since I know only two women who actually married their foxy guys (and one of them has a
milestones—turning points like having a toothbrush at the other person’s house, sharing a holiday, or meeting the parents. Let’s put it this way: for Melissa, those points never turned. Not Necessarily Better Living Through Chemistry The process of bonding and falling in love is part of a whole system designed to get us hooked on a guy long enough to get a baby with him. There are these chemicals that help the process along: oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin. Those chemicals feel good. They produce
or full-on fighting. Gottman coined the term “flooding” to describe what happens when adrenaline gets pumping and the fight-or-flight reaction is triggered. The pulse races, blood pressure rises, muscles tense, and the heart thumps almost painfully. What’s interesting is that Gottman found men become flooded more often and more easily than women do. And once flooded, people find it impossible to think logically, act rationally, or focus on what their partner is saying. This explains the
Epilogue OF COURSE, I MET A GUY. One month to the day after the “Why You’re Not Married” article appeared in The Huffington Post, I’m sitting in a bookstore/coffeehouse tapping away on my computer and he sat down right next to me, wearing a beard and carrying an empty laundry basket. We started chatting. Over the next half hour we covered male bonding hormones, oxytocin, my dad the criminal, his dad the Vietnam vet, my mom the prostitute, and his mom the spiritualist—and after it had become