The Ugly Joke Book

The Ugly Joke Book

Milt Rosen

Language: English

Pages: 0

ISBN: 0523418086

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Book by Rosen, Milt

Claims Department - The Robin Williams Memorial

My Life in Jokes

The Last Laugh: The World of Stand-Up Comic

Anonymous Lawyer

The Amateurs

















Old Paint, that's my wife. • .. * She was so ugly, her parents put out a contract on her. .. .. .. He was so ugly, eight years after he was born his parents were still trying to get a legal abortion. He was so ugly, customs made him put somebody else's picture on his passport. She won a beauty contest hands down. The judges took another look at her and put their hands up again . * * His face was so pockmarked he shaved with ah ice cream scoop. ' He was so hairy, he didn't have to

woman in the world." The psychiatrist answered softly, " You're not ugly. You're not ugly. But next Friday's Halloween, would you like to sit in my window?" * • They were neighbors. Ten times a day she passed his door. He appreciated that. * * * Some men are fat and ugly, but not him . He's skinny and ugly. * .. She had what it took, but she'd had it so long, nobody wanted it. ~ She: looked like a million, every year of it. She could have been a calendar girl , but she couldn't get

raises her eyebrows, she pulls up her stockings. ... L ~ When men looked at her time stood still. She could stop a clock. ~ A She weighed a hundred and plenty. bo Or to ' She went to Weight Watchers. They told her to wait. W' ; ~ de,. or He was so ugly that he once won a French Medal of Honor, but they couldn 't find a general brave enough to kiss him. They Her soldier boyfriend won a medal for bravery above and beyond the call of. duty. H was seen in public with her. e * * She's

ugly, when she posed for a photographer who said, " Watch the bird ie ," the birdie wouldn't come out. She was so bowlegged , she looked like two giraffes kissing . ' Her legs looked like Napoleon . . . two" boney parts. * * He was so thin, when he wore a doublebreasted jacket, he had to button it in the back. * She was so cross-eyed , she could look through a keyhole with both eyes. '- - He was so skinny, when he stood sideways in school , he was marked absent. She had one tooth, but

forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." She had something that many men want-a mustache. She had something on her neck that spoiled her looks--her face! * * * The man who married her got a prize. He should have gotten a reward. * * She had a little mole on her neck. It was her head. She was so ugly as a child that one day she left the house and her parents couldn't find her. They didn't look for her. She was so ugly, her parents never had children. ;Y She was so

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