The Dirtiest, Most Politically Incorrect Jokes Ever

The Dirtiest, Most Politically Incorrect Jokes Ever

Language: English

Pages: 280

ISBN: 1569757127

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Don't Want To Offend Anyone? Then Don't F*%# Buy This Book! What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She choked. How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle? Shine a light in her ear. What's the definition of making love? It's what a woman does while a man's screwing her. How does an Englishman know that his wife is dead? Sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up in the sink. What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk at the funeral. Why is a fat woman like a scooter? They're both fun to ride, but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on either. A woman walked into the bank to deposit a large bag of cash. "Did you hoard all this money yourself," asked the teller? She replied, "My sister whored half of it."

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Heaven at the onetime. At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said, "let's go through the entry test as a group. Now, first question. How many of you have played around with little boys?" Forty·nine hands went up. "Righu· said St. Peter. "YOU 49 can go down to Purgatory and take that deaf bastard with you I· 58 M1glc limps MACIC LAMPS A drunk walked into the bar carrying a small case. He put the case on the bar and said to the bartender, "I bet you a double scotch I can show you the most amazing

table and said to the young man, "I'm most Impressed by your knowledge of liquor. Try this and see if you can tell me what it is." The young man swelled up with pride, took a mouthful of the contents of the glass and swilled it around. 'That tastes like piss!· he cried as he spat It out. ~ou're right!" exclaimed the old man. "Now tell me what age I am and where I was born: Charlie was in first grade and he went over to check the new kid out. "How old are you! he asked. "I don't know: said the

twice: 99 The 111rtlnt. Mast Palltlcally Incorrect Jakes rver The lovely young blonde was learning to swim and was being held afloat by a raunchy swimming Instructor. "Willi really sink if you take your finger out?" she asked. The big breasted blonde always bought dresses to show off her boobs to their best advantage. Trying on a low·cut dress, she checked with the sales assistant if she thought it was too low. ·oo you have hair on your chest?" queried the assistant. "Of course not!" replied

"And if you have a house, you would have a wife." "Gee, yes; said Mike. ·well; said Clyde, I f you've got a dog, a backyard, a house and a wife, then It's logical that you'd have children." "Amazing!" said Mike. "And If you have children; said Clyde, "you're not gay.• Mike headed off to try his new-found knowledge on someone else. In the bar, he bumped into Fred. "Have you got a dog, Fred?" "No; said Fred. "Then you're a fuckin' faggot!" The two country boys were visiting the big city. "There's

These choices show everyone that you ~e low self-esteem and aren't in control of your emotions. You can fffi offended that it rains on your birthday party but the rain doesn't care-it just keeps raining. You can choose to feel embarrused because someone tells a joke that says your country persons are stupid. That doesn't mean that they art stupid and even If you agree that they are, abusing the jolct" won't make them any smarter. If you're a lawyer, you can choose to feel hurt because

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