Sex & Spandex: The Quest for the Kai
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
The Quest for the Kai. A Comic Parody of Cosmic Proportions.
Monty Python continues to bitch-slap Marvel in the ultimate mash-up.
The Shiny Surfer, assisted/hampered by Mrs' Galactus & Darkseid, Mr Bishop and Baron Zemo, is trying to find the mysterious Kai, the possible source of Cosmic disturbance.
Join the bickering Questers on their epic Galactic journey to annoy other life-forms, molest domestic animals, destroy sacred beliefs and generally sow confusion and discord.
Will our brave Quester's ever find the Kai? Who is the super villain with the constantly inflamed gonads? Will Mrs’ G & D get back in time for tea? And why is Tessticulatus so annoyed?
All of these questions, and many others, will be either answered or completely ignored, side-stepped, trampled underfoot and generally mishandled
in this, the second mildly titillating and reasonably exciting instalment of Sex & Spandex 2: The Quest for the Kai.
Also contains deleted scenes from Sex & Spandex 1.
Peeky? Not Perky but Peeky? Thank you, thank you doctor baron von poopang! Thank you for that diagnosis! Baron Zemo: Vhy are you so crabby? You are like a Juden mit eine Frankfurter! Bishop: Food! He had to talk about food! Argg! (Storms off) Baron Zemo: (Nodding towards Grotus) Vhat happened to him? Is it normal to have eine tongue drei metres long? (The Surfer smiles weakly). Do you tink it vill it go back? Silver Surfer: I can't seem to undo it, but it appears to be going back off
Surfer making cooing and purring noises. Silver Surfer: Yes, you are! Uhm, achum achum (Coughing)! That's enough! Later! Now listen, (Turning to the gathered Maji, now lead by Penilo) I'm very sorry things got confused with my board; but all is not lost. He whistles and from the heavens descends the Surfer's replacement Cosmic Ironing Board. Immediately it starts to square up to the original board. Silver Surfer: Now stop that. That's enough, both of you. (To the replacement board) I'm
Plaza, New York City. Height: 6ft 4 Inches - excluding metal boots. Weight: The scales broke. Eye Colour: Burnt Red Possessions: 1. Gauntlets 2; emitting death-rays, electrical shocks, poisonous gas and MP3 controller. 2. Cloak with hood 1; color dark-green, 2 concealed pockets with unidentifiable potions & 1 with a signed photo of Bette Midler 'To Vicky, love you baby, Bette XXX', cloak tag marked 'Property of V. Doom - Dry Clean Only'. 3. Armoured Chest plate 1; containing electrical
sleep with all the stars from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Ben: Yer kidding Torchy - right? Right? (Johnny smiles) Aw, man, what a lucky break - some guys always find the sweetcorn in the shitpile. Peter: What? What did you say??? Why the hell would anyone want the sweet corn from a shitpile. I don't get it. Ben: It's the only thing in shit you can eat again. Reed told me! Sue: He DID not - you made that up. Coshz you know my stupid little brother will be trying it all next week.
clutching his crotch), you schweinhund, you aahhh are ficken doing this...aaaghhh on purpose. I vill not be....aaghhh ficken denied! I am a strategic tactician! Aghhh! Silver Surfer: What is the matter with him? Why does he keep doing that?? And is he right? Bishop: Come on, get real, he's a Super Villain; he ain't interested in helping anyone! Baron Zemo: Nein, nein. Aghhh! I am aghhh, trrrrrryyyyyyying aaagh, to reform. Aghhh! Schizenkopf dis ist aaaaaaghhh, sehr ficken painful. Aghhh!