Royce: The life, times, best jokes and funniest photos of America's favorite clean comedian

Royce: The life, times, best jokes and funniest photos of America's favorite clean comedian

Royce Elliot

Language: English

Pages: 124

ISBN: 2:00263660

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


A joke book from comedian Royce Elliot

A Sample:

Jokes for Men Only

Carry a Big Stick: A funny, fearless life of friendship, laughter and MS

The Midden

Jokes for Men Only














were shot through the hands. J7 I saw a sign that said, "Combination Veterinarian and Taxidermist. No matter what happens, we guarantee your dog back." * * * The control tower said to the Polish pilot: "I need your height and location." The Pollock replied, ''I'm six feet two and I'm in the cockpit." * * * A young boy had his pet duck with him and decided that he would take in a movie. He knew he couldn't get in if the usher saw his duck, so he decided to hide the duck in the front of his

thousand feet deep. * * * He bought his mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let him plug it in. * * * His wife gave him a nice Easter present -a rabbit punch. 61 ~~- He's so fat he looks like the Good year blimp with shoes. * * * His parents almost lost him as a child, but they didn't take him far enough into the woods. * * * His breath is so bad they put a button on his head and used him for Raid. * * * He went into a store and told the salesman he'd like to see

psychiatrist, "Doc, You gotta help me. ''The Doc said, "What do you do?" He said, "I'm a mechanic, and the Doc said, "Lay under the couch." 9Q IIIII A guy said, "Doc, I've got this complex. I keep thinking I'm a dog." The doctor said, "How long have you suffered with this delusion?" The guy said, "Ever since I was a pup." * * * DOCTORS * * * A guy said, "Doc, I've got this terrible memory problem" and the doctor said, "Pay me in advance." * * * The patient said, "Doc, my leg's killing me,

what can I do for it." The doctor said, "Limp." * * * A guy said, "Doc, my leg's killing me." The doctor said, "Take off all your clothes, stand by that window and stick out your tongue." The guy said "But Doc, l'm here because my leg hurts." The doctor said, "I know, but I'm mad at my neighbor." 101 A midget went to a doctor and said, "Doc, you gotta help me, I get this terrible binding pain in the groin area when it rains. Like today, it's raining and this binding pain in the groin is

about a mile straight ahead." The guy crawled the mile, pulled himself up to the door of the oasis, saw the fountains inside and the doorman said to him, "I can't let you in without a tie." * * * A cop pulled a guy over and said, "Your wife fell out of the car four blocks ago, Buddy." The driver said, "Thank God, I thought I went deaf." 116 A cop stopped a guy and informed him he had not come to a complet e stop at the stop sign. The driver said, "What's the difference? I slowed down and

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