Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad---and Surprising Good---About Feeling Special
Dr. Craig Malkin
Language: English
Pages: 261
ISBN: B00OG903B2
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Harvard Medical School psychologist and Huffington Post blogger Craig Malkin addresses the "narcissism epidemic," by illuminating the spectrum of narcissism, identifying ways to control the trait, and explaining how too little of it may be a bad thing.
"What is narcissism?" is one of the fastest rising searches on Google, and articles on the topic routinely go viral. Yet, the word "narcissist" seems to mean something different every time it's uttered. People hurl the word as insult at anyone who offends them. It's become so ubiquitous, in fact, that it's lost any clear meaning. The only certainty these days is that it's bad to be a narcissist—really bad—inspiring the same kind of roiling queasiness we feel when we hear the words sexist or racist. That's especially troubling news for millennials, the people born after 1980, who've been branded the "most narcissistic generation ever."
In Rethinking Narcissism readers will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that we all fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side, and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self. On the far end lies sociopathy. Malkin deconstructs healthy from unhealthy narcissism and offers clear, step-by-step guidance on how to promote healthy narcissism in our partners, our children, and ourselves.
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witnessed. Narcissus himself was to know the pain of unrequited love. One afternoon soon after, while strolling through his beloved woods, he came upon a cool, clear spring, so eerily still that it looked like a mirror. Thirsty from the walk, he bent down to drink, and when he did, he caught a glimpse of a beautiful face. He was so clouded by Nemesis’s curse he didn’t realize he was staring at himself. His heart hammered in his chest. He’d never known a feeling like this before, the depth of
subordinate: I’m glad to hear you being so collaborative with the other team members; that’s our best shot at having a big win. It was kind of you to ask Jane if her mother was OK. Those simple acts of caring help everyone feel better and boost productivity. To a coworker: Thanks for the support in that meeting. When we’re working together like this, we’re bound to deliver a great idea. Thanks for asking me if I’d like anything when you went out for coffee. Helps me push harder for the
finish line when I feel like you’ve got my back. Contrasting Good and Bad Behavior Contrasting is much the same as catching, except that you’re describing the past and the present at the same time. Noting bad behavior becomes far more effective when it’s paired with some recollection of more communal behavior (assuming you’ve caught any). Jane, for example, when faced with one of Drew’s suddenly “high priority items,” simply described her experience: I really appreciated it when we checked in
they’re for, even if the explanation is as simple as “I need to make sure everyone in the house is safe and this rule makes that possible.” When children know what’s going to happen, and why, they feel safer because their environment makes sense to them—and so do you. As children become older, limits might take different forms, like a set consequence for broken rules. For an adolescent, the rule might be to come home by 11:00 p.m. The consequence for not meeting curfew might be no car for a
research, 115–18 tackling barriers to leaving, 126–28 when not possible, 125–26 re-dos, 179 rejection, 13, 83 relationships. See also family; narcissism, workplace strategies; parents and parenting; spouses authentic, 186 boring, 132 caring, 199 happiness in, 25, 108 insecurity in, 100 leaving, 123, 125 long-term, 116 loving, 83 mistakes in, 100 one-sided, 38 open, 70 reciprocal, 112 self-image and, 56 SoMe and, 191–92 subtle narcissism and, 108 success in, 10 tackling