Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
Michael Thompson
Language: English
Pages: 298
ISBN: 0345434854
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., two of the country's leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting--sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that "cool" equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of "mother blame," "boy biology," and "testosterone," the authors shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive--the emotional miseducation of boys.
Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy--giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth.
Bulletproof Vest: The Ballad of an Outlaw and His Daughter
Zordon. [Jason is the original Red Ranger, and Zordon is the master of the Power Rangers.] He gets so pissed.” Now I get it. To seventh-grade boys, the Power Rangers are completely passé. Connor has committed the sin of looking childish. In much the same way an eight-year-old will make fun of younger siblings for liking Barney the purple dinosaur, seventh-grade boys must disavow any lingering liking for the Power Rangers. My guess is that Connor doesn’t like the Power Rangers either but that his
and a boy is listening carefully to both. If a father can be emotionally honest, candid, thoughtful, and flexible in his responses, then a son’s respect will follow. A man who idealizes his strengths and accomplishments distances himself from the reality his son inhabits—a world of more varied emotions and experience. For example, a father and son are playing tennis. What does the father do when he hits a bad shot? Does he swear and pout, or does he demonstrate for his son how to take it in
self-reproach in a climate of trust. It had taken him almost a year to talk to someone because he had chosen isolation over conversation. He and I had only four conversations, but they opened the door for him. The psychological burden that had trapped him for a year was lifted; his concentration on the ice and in the classroom was beginning to improve. Danny was motivated by his desire to revive his characteristic optimism and energy, and he was able to use his new insights to come to terms with
ask him directly about any thoughts or plans for suicide: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” It is vital to understand that the more precise a boy’s thoughts and plans for suicide, the more likely he is to try it. Dan with Jihan: A Boy with a Plan I’d known Jihan from his first day as a seventh grader until his high school graduation. He had struggled through some very low periods along this route and at one point was quite suicidal. Jihan was a very handsome biracial boy who had a
willing to reveal a little about his drug habits. “So what did you do Saturday night?” “I went out with John and Toby.” “What did you do?” “We just hung out.” “Did you get high?” “Yeah, we went to this party that Tim [another classmate] was having, and we smoked with this guy who always shows up with this unbelievable weed.” “Who was there?” “There were mostly just some kids from my school.” “Anybody else?” “Yeah, after we smoked, these really hot girls from Concord came by. I had never