Overcoming Fake Talk: How to Hold REAL Conversations that Create Respect, Build Relationships, and Get Results
John Stoker
Language: English
Pages: 304
ISBN: 0071815791
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
MAKE EVERY CONVERSATION A REAL CONVERSATION THAT GETS RESULTS
In Overcoming Fake Talk, business communication guru John R. Stoker offers proven advice for turning challenging confrontations into rewarding exchanges that foster collaboration, improve performance, and achieve results.
"Overcoming Fake Talk is a thorough compendium of ideas, frameworks, examples, and actions to improve conversations. Stoker's four 'REAL' conversation skills and eight principles give the novice and master insights and guidelines for improving conversation." -- Dave Ulrich, Professor, Ross School of Business, University of Michigan; Partner, The RBL Group; and author of The Why of Work
"Great questions, great suggestions. . . . Bravo! I will put Stoker's ideas to use in my own practice." -- Beverly Kaye, founder and co-CEO, Career Systems International, and coauthor of Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go
"Adhering to and implementing these principles will dramatically increase your ability to communicate and improve your relationships in your professional and personal life." -- Hyrum W. Smith, cofounder, FranklinCovey
"An insightful blend of rock-solid theory accompanied by compelling examples of the huge distinction between real and fake communication." -- John H. Zenger, CEO, Zenger Folkman, and coauthor of How to Be Exceptional
"Stoker teaches true principles for getting Results, Respect, and great Relationships using REAL conversation." -- Brent D. Peterson, PhD, coauthor of Fake Work
The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction
You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation
Resolving Conflict: Establish Trusting and Productive Relationships in the Workplace
Sexually, I'm More of a Switzerland: Personal Ads from the London Review of Books
When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships
receiving can help us to start to build some degree of self-awareness. Let’s be more specific. How Do We Become More Self-Aware? Most of us lack an objective perspective of how we come across to others. So it helps to realize that other people usually reflect back to us what we reflect to them. The disrespect my son reflected to me was a reflection of the disrespect that I reflected to him with my comment, “You got a B in math?” along with the tone and nonverbal behavior that I displayed to
been going on?” (Learn) What Is Connection? Connection occurs as you summarize what you believe you have heard and understood, any differences in values that may surface, and any expectations and consequences that are important to clarify. For example, you might clarify by saying: “If I understood correctly, you thought … and yet, I thought…. Is that right?” What Is Building? Building in conversation is about establishing accountability by finalizing a plan and gaining commitment to that
analyzed those decisions. Their wariness might be construed as negativity, sarcasm, or cynicism. They are patient, hardworking, well-organized, and accurate, and they are frustrated by people who want to make quick decisions, refuse to answer their questions, or become too personal. Vocally, Discoverers’ tone is cautious and formal, but may become skeptical or cynical if their ideas or opinions are challenged. Their tempo is deliberate and slow—as if they are carefully choosing their words or
enough to do it herself, so I take my time.” “Sometimes she asks me to open her milk carton. Honestly, some people are pathetic!” announced another. By this time, the administrator was about ready to lose it. The patient in 2033 was a longtime family friend who had only been admitted the previous day. Calmly, he walked up to the nurses and said, “Excuse me, I’ve heard enough, thank you. It might help you to know that the patient in 2033 is a friend of my family. She is blind! I’m sorry it was
different styles like to communicate and interact. Instructions: Read through the following list and circle the behaviors that describe how you like to communicate, or how you would like others to communicate with you. “Personally, I prefer to … Check Yourself Out! Record the total number of items you circled in each category: ________Initiator ________Builder ________Connector ________Discoverer Putting It All Together! Prepare for a difficult conversation by working backwards