Lost Homicidal Maniac (Answers to "Shirley") (An Andrew Mayhem Thriller Book 4)
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Andrew Mayhem is back! In this dark and hilarious new adventure, Andrew has started up a private investigation business with his best friend Roger (slogan: "We Solve Weird Problems"). Since his options in life will become somewhat more limited after his wife Helen gives birth to triplets, it's his last-ditch effort to get out of being stuck with a corporate day job.
One of their first clients is an attractive woman named Shirley. Keeping with the kind of luck Andrew has had his entire life, her problem is: "I think I may be a serial killer."
Yeah, he takes the job. Even after she insists on being handcuffed to him while they investigate the house where she might have stored the bodies of her victims.
But Andrew discovers that this day has much more danger in store than being handcuffed to a woman who may or may not be a homicidal maniac. Because Mr. Burke, the sadistic villain of his last adventure, has been watching Andrew and plotting a truly ghastly revenge...and the attack begins now!
Packed with the trademark demented humor, wild action, and grisly horror, this is the novel that Andrew Mayhem fans have been threatening to stab the author if he doesn't write.
Foreword by the lovely and talented JA Konrath.
"No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." -- Cemetery Dance
Shirley asked. "I'm trying to stop them from murdering Bruce!" Another gunshot outside. "How?" "I don't know! He's a friend! I'm not going to just sit here with you and let them—" The door opened, and two of the men in gas masks tossed Bruce into the back with us. The doors slammed shut again, and within a few seconds the armored car was in motion. For a moment, Shirley, Bruce, and I just sat in the darkness. Bruce was trying to talk, but he was coughing a lot more than we were at this
want to rule out any options yet. "Climb up on my back," I said, facing the wall. "See where we are." I couldn't do much to help hoist her up, since I had a severely injured hand and the other was cuffed to her, but Shirley was able to climb up on my back and get herself high enough to peek over the edge of the pit. "Shit," she said. There was a loud whack that sounded exactly like Shirley being kicked in the face, and then we both fell backwards onto the ground. I tried not to land on her
image of squishing his head into a blender and making myself a blood smoothie. "Why isn't she moving yet? I didn't withdraw the order to kill her." "Go, Theresa," I said, pushing her a bit more firmly. Crying, she ran over to Mr. Burke and Vic. Vic kept the pistol pointed at her the entire time. "Good girl," said Mr. Burke. He handed her a white letter-sized envelope. "Go take this back to your father." She ran back, buried her face in my shirt, and gave me the envelope. Whatever was inside
do you think is in there?" "Proof." "You mean proof as in...?" I trailed off, purposely not finishing my sentence because I didn't want to create an awkward moment if she didn't really mean "mutilated corpses." "Dead bodies. I think that the people I killed during my blackouts, if I did in fact commit murder during them, may be in that house." "Gotcha." "Even the ones you may or may not have killed on out of state business trips?" Roger asked. "No, not them. I would have noticed a head in
my luggage. We don't need to put all of the pieces together right now; the reason I'm here, if I haven't made it clear already, is that I want you two to accompany me to the house and see what we can find." I glanced over at Roger. He nodded. I couldn't decide if I should nod back or not. Yes, the whole basis for our business was to deal with weird crap like this, but why did there always have to be dead bodies? Why couldn't we be like Encyclopedia Brown and investigate somebody cheating in a