Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, about Anything
Language: English
Pages: 192
ISBN: 1401908802
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)
DANEEN SKUBE, PH.D. HAY HOUSE, INC. Carlsbad, California London • Sydney • Johannesburg Vancouver • Hong Kong Copyright © 2006 by Daneen Skube Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100 • Phone: (760) 431-7695 or (800) 654-5126 • Fax: (760) 431-6948 or (800) 650-5115 • www.hayhouse.com • Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd., 18/36 Ralph St., Alexandria NSW 2015 • Phone:
paraphrasing and using the pronoun you, my friend admitted that what he was saying was true for him. It occurred to him as I paraphrased that maybe others might be seeing the situation in another way. Other people may not agree that it’s their opinion when you add the word you. However, it will remind you that Truth is never a good argument since “the truth” is always subjective. There’s my truth and your truth and sometimes our truth. So you’re wasting your breath if you’re trying to prove
and mother reflected her own internal changes. When I ask students to try this exercise, I find that even if they go to the same place, their stories are still unique. Either life is just one big projection screen reflecting us back to ourselves, or the universe is well orchestrated by invisible hands to help us learn (and maybe both suppositions are true). If you imagine that everything is communicating to you all the time, you’ll probably look at your world through different eyes. Just like
form of attractions and repulsions. (But you can still play around with those fortune-cookie messages!) Changing Patterns Through Relationships Social Sorcerers use relationship difficulties to help them become wiser. I remember one week when several people felt that I’d intentionally harmed them. An association president was angry because I was unavailable to speak to her group, a woman yelled at me because she thought I had cut in line, and a friend was angry because I couldn’t help her
move. As I thought about these three events, I could see how I immediately apologized and took responsibility for the situation so these people would stop being mad. In each case, I hadn’t intended harm, but ended up feeling as if the situation were my fault anyway. I could also see how anxious I became when people got mad at me. When I saw my theme, I used my toolkits to change my behavior. I became aware of how often my parents blamed me when they were upset. I could see that taking