Freedom from Toxic Relationships: Moving On from the Family, Work, and Relationship Issues That Bring You Down
Avril Carruthers
Language: English
Pages: 288
ISBN: 0399166114
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
A guide to leaving painful, destructive relationships behind—both at home and at work
Toxic relationships often come disguised as seemingly normal ones. These subtly destructive relationships are characterized by the slow erosion of self-esteem, a loss of personal identity, or a growing desire to please friends, partners, and family members who are impossible to please.
In this uplifting and informative book, transpersonal psychotherapist Avril Carruthers will take a close look at adult relationships to show why we get involved in toxic relationships in the first place, and instruct the reader on how to recognize if they’re involved in one. Once the toxic relationship is identified, the author shows the reader how to begin their journey toward healing and how to meet the world with a new kind of confidence, so that the cycle of toxic relationships can be broken once and for all.
What Carruthers teaches is just how possible it can be to learn how to recognize the manipulative or sweetly corrosive partner, the family dynamics that make Christmas and other get-togethers seem like hell, or the nightmare boss who causes daily torment—and that we can learn to leave these painful, destructive patterns behind forever.
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level. It became apparent to her that the cord she had with her boyfriend was made of the same longing for love and connection that she felt in the cord with her mother. Most cords that form later in life occur through a partner or friend latching onto us at an energetic level, forming a cord of energy much like our umbilical connection to our mother in the womb. Unless we remove them, these cords stay with us. Cords function on etheric (life-force) energy, charged with the emotional content of
on seeing their photograph. The cord pulls at us, urging us to reestablish a connection based on familiarity, even when the relationship was unhealthy or we have not seen the other for months or even years, or they have died. And unless we have cleared the cord from our previous relationship, it will continue to poison future connections. ENERGETIC VAMPIRES Some people feed on others’ energy. We can tell when we feel drained after being in their company. Or we can feel “dumped on” by their
painful relationship is detachment. However, before we can fully detach from the cords with parents, siblings, friends and partners that keep us stuck, we need to become aware that we have them. As you reflect on past relationships—can you see repeated patterns? This is where a skilled therapist can help greatly. If our new partnership also has problems, we can either address those issues with more confidence, or end the relationship sooner rather than later, without too much pain. We can move
theme of betrayal. The fact that people were continuing to betray him indicated he was somehow attracting the same kind of person. Could it be that he was making choices of partners who would let him down? Evan began to look at how this dynamic might be operating in his life. His childhood wounds meant he had unconsciously chosen women with lower self-esteem than his own. All had camouflaged their insecurity to varying degrees, just as his mother had. He began to see more deeply into their
surprised when he and Suki saw each other again. He was no longer anxious, and she was also different. She seemed more in the present, too, and wanted to enjoy what they had together without unrealistic expectations of the future. She still wanted the wedding, the house, the kids, but she could wait. And by focusing on the present she was able to see that Jonathan was really the one for her. The reason Suki changed, of course, was because of Jonathan’s energy, which was transmitted along their