Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated
Alison Arngrim
Language: English
Pages: 320
ISBN: 0061962155
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Confessions of a Prairie Bitch is Alison Arngrim’s comic memoir of growing up as one of television’s most memorable characters—the devious Nellie Oleson on the hit television show Little House on the Prairie. With behind-the-scenes stories from the set, as well as tales from her bohemian upbringing in West Hollywood and her headline-making advocacy work on behalf of HIV awareness and abused children, Confessions of a Prairie Bitch is a must for fans of everything Little House: the classic television series and its many stars like Michael Landon and Melissa Gilbert; Gilbert’s bestselling memoir Prairie Tale... and, of course, the beloved series of books by Laura Ingalls Wilder that started it all.
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tried putting him in what was then the premier school for rich hippie parents in Los Angeles, Summerhill. The only decent thing he got out of that school was a cat. Really. The school cat was named Malcolm X because no one figured out, until it was too late, that Malcolm was really a female (basic biology being one of the many subjects outside of its core curriculum). Malcolm gave birth to seven kittens in our garage. I promptly picked out the cutest one and named it Bonnie after the movie Bonnie
earth and straightforward and never gave him a minute’s trouble. So it was only fitting that Larry would be the one most instrumental in designing the infamous Nellie wig. Larry called in a wigmaker, not just any wigmaker, but the famous “Ziggy,” aka Siegfried Geike, “Wigmaker to the Stars.” It was the first time I’d ever seen anyone in real life with a Salvador Dalí mustache. He was, after all, an artist. He arrived with an enormous black case filled with mysterious gear and numerous samples of
incomplete. There had been no official good-bye. One day, it was January, and I was taking off on our annual hiatus; the next day, poof! There had been no wrap party, no hugs, no kisses, no sobbing cast and crew members saying they’d miss me. The story felt unfinished, too: Mrs. Oleson held up a letter from Nellie stating that she and Percival were now in New York. That was it. After all those years of campy drama, and that’s how the writers ended it. They hadn’t even pushed me down a cliff in a
ol’ mom and dad from the Mercantile, Richard Bull and Katherine MacGregor! (Katherine said this was the last time she’d ever do anything like this, but between you and me…she loved it.) Just about every year since, someone has put together an event for us to congregate, and we’re all very grateful and look forward to it. Our last big event took place in Keystone, South Dakota, in September 2009. This one was called, of all things, “Holy Terror Days.” (I thought it was dedicated to me.) At this
people were ready for anything. I went onstage, and I didn’t say, “Good evening” or even “Hi there.” I said, “Tonight we’re going to answer some questions, starting with, why am I such a bitch? You people want to know why I’m a bitch? I’ll tell you why. Do you have any idea the shit I have had to put up with?” I didn’t address the audience so much as rail at them. I complained to them. I chastised them. I gave them all manner of shit—and called it shit to boot. And I confessed to every insane,