Beyond Revenge: The Evolution of the Forgiveness Instinct
Language: English
Pages: 320
ISBN: 078797756X
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Why is revenge such a pervasive and destructive problem? How can we create a future in which revenge is less common and forgiveness is more common? Psychologist Michael McCullough argues that the key to a more forgiving, less vengeful world is to understand the evolutionary forces that gave rise to these intimately human instincts and the social forces that activate them in human minds today. Drawing on exciting breakthroughs from the social and biological sciences, McCullough dispenses surprising and practical advice for making the world a more forgiving place.
Michael E. McCullough (Miami, Florida), an internationally recognized expert on forgiveness and revenge, is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida, where he directs the Laboratory for Social and Clinical Psychology.
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with Old Dogs: Creating the Conditions for Forgiveness Primatologist Frans de Waal tells of a strange zoo exhibit he once saw in Lop Buri, Thailand. In this exhibit, three large tigers and two dogs were living together in the same enclosure. As the tigers lazed idly in the enclosure, the dogs walked over the tigers’ heads c01.indd 16 2/14/08 2:40:47 PM PUTTING VENGEANCE AND FORGIVENESS BACK INTO HUMAN NATURE 17 with no apparent fear of being devoured by the giant cats, even though the
joked about the incident later. It was several months before police received the tip that would lead them to Mallard. After her arrest, Mallard was tried and convicted of murder. She was sentenced to fifty years in prison. At her sentencing hearing, Greg’s son Brandon had the opportunity to make a victim impact statement. Instead of using this opportunity to request the harshest possible sentence, Brandon said to the court and to Mallard’s family, “There’s no winners in a case like this. Just as
organisms that know how to cooperate can fare better than organisms that know only vengeance. In social dilemmas that pit the shortterm gains of selfishness against the long-term gains of cooperating, evolution favors the organisms that can be vengeful when it’s necessary, that can forgive when it’s necessary, and that have the wisdom to know the difference. c04.indd 87 2/14/08 2:45:58 PM C H A P TER FI VE Fa mi l y , F r i end sh i p , an d the F u nct i ons o f F o r g i veness The desire
nation in the world with a nuclear bomb. In the 1940s, a Hungarian mathematician named John von Neumann developed game theory to bring some mathematical rigor to these sorts of strategic dilemmas. Game theorists try to identify the courses of action that self-interested actors should pursue when they’re locked into competitions, known generally as “games,” with other self-interested actors whose future behavior is uncertain. The holy grail of game theory is the “Nash equilibrium,” named after
harmed them. In 1997, my colleagues and I showed that when people experience empathy for a transgressor, it’s difficult to maintain a vengeful attitude. Instead, forgiveness often emerges.31 Empathy seems to promote forgiveness in relationships between co-workers, friends, romantic partners, Northern Irish Catholics and Protestants, and even perpetrators of crimes and their victims.32 When you feel empathic toward someone, your willingness to retaliate goes way down.33 Neuroscience helps us