Beer is the Answer...I Don't Remember the Question: And Over 1,000 Other Bar Jokes, Quotes and Cartoons (Bartender Magazine)
Ray Foley
Language: English
Pages: 224
ISBN: 1402209142
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
The best bar jokes you can've never remembered!
From the publisher of Bartender magazine comes this incomparable collection of bar jokes, quotes and cartoons that are sure to make you appear witty and charming at the life of your next cocktail party.
Wow your drinking buddies and impress your dates with such clever and entertaining hilarious quips as:
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
"I saw a sign that said "Drink Canada Dry," so I've started."
"Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin."
Ray Foley has been a bartender for more than 20 years. He is the publisher of Bartender magazine and the author of Bartending for Dummies. He has appeared on Good Morning America, Live with Regis and Kathie Lee and countless other shows. Ray resides in New Jersey with his wife and partner, Jaclyn.
Bart Simpson's Guide to Life: A Wee Handbook for the Perplexed
a wicked smile. "That's what the tongs are for." '----------------------------- ~) J ~on't !ll end." '----------------An__o_n_ym__o_u_s __------------.~ A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." The old-timer, looking bent, wea:ry and dejected, hobbled painfully up to the bar. "What the trouble? " asked Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you. • You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store. • You wake up in Korea in August and the last thing you remember is the Fourth of July party at the Halekulani m Waikiki. • You've fallen and you can't get up. _J !bon'l ~1M Ou.!UM '165 MThe best way for a person to have happy thoughts is to count his blessings and not his cash." -Anonymous -------------------------------------------------------~,,, M itch and saymg be dJdn 't want to go Lhiough that agarn. "What do you mean, agarn? " "Three days ago another no-arm guy shows... " "That's my brother! I've been following him for years I How's he domg?" The pr1est told h1m how h1s brother had unfortunately passed away, whereupon the man wged the pnest to hire tum so he could dedJcate the remainder of hJs We working where h1s brother bad passed away. "I've corrected the fault he had 28 . . Ott I\ IS Tat &IISW[R d. on his approach to the bell," he said, whlsky for your cold, and in no ume at all it's gone. Not the cold-the whlsky. You go to an orthopedJ.st to un.mobllize your elbow. Even though you're not drinking, every time you bend 1t, your mouth snaps open. If it wasn't for the pretzels you'd be enurely on a liQUid diet. You spend so much time m bars you're developmg rheumatJsm from p1ck:mg up wet change. Instead of gemng sober from drinking your Bloody Marys mixed Wlth canot jwce, you see better. The only exere~se you ever get is hlccuppmg